Today, President Bush vetoed legislation that would vastly increase government health insurance to children, stating concerns over this proposed plan too closely resembled federal health care.

In other news, President Bush was responsible for trapping subter’s editor in the local mall today. His motorcade path prompted local police to close all exits from the Park City Mall in Lancaster, Pennsylvania where subter Editor-in-Chief P. Bradley Robb was getting a hair cut.

Ironically, the President’s trip to address the Lancaster Chamber of Commerce ended up hurting local business as customers were unable to reach said commerce locations.

President Bush also, apparently, spoke about the dangers of a nuclear Iran.